Between the ages of 18 an 22 I was involved in the gay club kid and rave scene in South Florida. I was also anarchistic.
Two years later, at age 31 (2006), I met
LDS Christian Missionaries and was exposed to the
Book of Mormon, but I was not ready for the
LDS Truth yet because I had other more basic issues to take care of. In the summer of 2007 I was living in Göteborg and there I was introduced to an Orthodox Lutheran Bible & Theology studies program sponsored by Missionsprovinsen (
https://missionsprovinsen.se/). They are a Swedish Orthodox Lutheran split from Svenska Kyrkan, premised upon the revival of the type of fundamentalist Lutheranism that existed in Sweden in the period between 1530 and 1640. They consider Svenska Kyrkan was taken over by Satan as in "the synagogue of Satan" because
Svenska Kyrkan is liberal post-Lutheran. Anyways, they taught me Luther and Lutheranism and convinced me of its basic correctness. When they meet people with a Catholic background they are very friendly, so they took me under their wing. And I am glad, because they are correct that Roman Catholicism is apostate. Meeting them was the first step in the right direction theologically. I was involved with Missionsprovinsen until 2009.
In late 2013 I suffered a traumatic event that led me to collapse into a deep depression. At that dark moment, I remembered God; but did not look carefully as to where to find Him. In April 2014 I met the
Jehovah Witnesses and soon after begun to study The Bible with them. I also became involved with an evangelical Ex-Gay Ministry.
Parallel to this, between
April 2014 and summer 2018, I was organized with a clandestine
Christian volunteer activist network that resisted and obstructed
detention and deportation of vulnerable asylum seekers in danger of
refoulement. In
the course of four years, we effectively negated Swedish Granspolisen
(Border Police), efforts to deport one Ugandan, one Congolese, two
Moroccan's, four
Afghans and one Georgian. I believe that we made a difference in nine
people's lives. I believe we resisted. In retrospect, the involvement
with the ex-gay ministry was the negative side of my activity in
2014-18, my involvement with anti-deportation work was the positive
side.
From April 2014 to April 2019 I was a study with Jehovah Witnesses (an interested one who is "making changes"), but I was not committed to them. It was not until summer 2018 that I decided to commit to Jehovah Witnesses after I became disillusioned with conversion therapy. From April 2019 to September 2019 I served as an unbaptized publisher. And on September 22, 2019 I was baptized a Jehovah Witness at the Circuit Assembly in Karlstad. My conversion was genuine. The theology of the Jehovah Witnesses made sense to me. The five basic principles of Charles Taze Russell:
(1) God is ONE and not a Trinity; (2) Jesus is The Son of God but not God Himself (The Father is Greater than The Son, as it says in John 14:28); (3)
There is no hellfire; (4) There is no immortal soul, Hezekiel 18:20-24; (5) Christians are required to maintain neutrality in politics and war (Jehovah Witnesses cannot serve in the military, vote or run for office). At present (April 2023), I continue to agree with points 1, 2 and 3 but reject 5. I am agnostic on point 4. Jehovah Witnesses are also required to live according to "Jehovah's Standards", that means no smoking, no drunkenness, no sex outside marriage, no active homosexuality, no abortions, no celebration of birthdays or apostate holidays like Christmas or Easter, etc... The congregation elders enforce the rules in a totalistic manner. They are the same as Islamic religious police. The congregation is an organic community that must be kept spiritually clean at all costs, that means disfellowshipping and shunning of those who fail to live up to Jehovah's standards as defined by the Shepherd The Flock of God elders manual and the Silver Sword (2013 Edition of
The New World Translation of The Holy Scriptures). The Jehovah Witnesses believe that their translation of The Bible is the only true translation. They believe that both
The Koran and
The Book of Mormon were written by Satan.
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| Brother Torres in November 2020 |
Between April 2019 and October 2020 I was a JW fanatic. My life revolved around meeting attendance (two times per week) and field service (minimum 10 hours per week, but I usually completed between 35 to 40 hours; 45 when I was Auxiliary Pioneer). I did auxiliary pioneering three times from November 2019 to April 2020), I made prepared comments for both mid-week and Sunday meetings, and read the scripture at the mid week meetings (I always got assigned to read Old Testament texts, because the elders said they wanted me to become knowledgeable about the old testament ; this was good in the sense that I am very well versed in
The Pentateuch / The Law of the Tanakh as a result). Every morning and evening I did my hourly prayer and Bible Study. For Jehovah Witnesses Bible Study and prayer focus on training your conscience, which they see as a compass. i.e how to best arrange everyday life routines to fit Jehovah's strict standards. You read The Bible to extrapolate "principles" (understanding the mind of Jehovah) and you rely on congregation elders and ministerial servants to help you implement them. "Principles are NOT Law", because Jesus freed us from The Law; however to please Jehovah and remain in good standing with the congregation elders one must live up to the standards derived from principles (as explained in
The Watchtower Magazine, which is the "spiritual food"). The most important changes that I made as a Jehovah Witness were that I quit smoking and became alcohol free. Jehovah Witnesses are allowed to drink in moderation, because Jesus drank wine; but individual JW's can choose to be alcohol free if they want. I left Jehovah Witnesses for good just one year and five months ago in November 2021, and sometimes I miss the congregation. That modern day Noah's Ark that was the only safe place a person could be at if they hoped to survive the imminent apocalyptic destruction of Satan's system and all those who refused Jehovah's message when we preached door to door. I miss the sense of security that I obtained from being part of an organic entity. I also miss the certainty that my religious beliefs were THE TRUTH. I was IN THE TRUTH. It was a false sense of security and certainty, the six years that I influenced by THE TRUTH seem in retrospect like I dropped out into an alternate reality or a parallel universe.
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| After Field Service |
Between October 2020 and November 2021, I was a
P.I.M.O. (Physically In, Mentally Out) Jehovah Witness. That is, I faked it out of fear of the consequences of disfellowshipping. By 2020 my entire and only social network (outside work) was the JW congregation. Had I quit then I would have ended up socially destitute. So, I made an effort to create a social network outside the congregation. The first step was to return to social media. I revisited my abandoned Facebook account (Jehovah Witnesses are discouraged from utilizing social media) and joined a group called LGBTQ Ex-Jehovah Witnesses (
https://www.facebook.com/groups/glbtxjw/) anonymously. I set up on Instagram. I also began to secretly watch ex-JW content on You Tube (
https://www.youtube.com/@LloydEvans), which is a disfellowshipping offense because contact with "apostate propaganda" (ex-JW viewpoints) is strictly prohibited. In the year between October 2020 and November 2021 I was part of the
P.I.M.O. underground inside Jehovah Witnesses. Members who fake it until they are able to jump out. My main reasons for leaving Jehovah Witnesses: (1) Shunning is cruel and has resulted in people committing suicide (specially those with a history of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder), because of the loneliness that results from drastic social ostracism, family members are required to shun their disfellowshipped loved ones, thus shunning breaks up families. Jesus never shunned anyone, in fact
He attended banquets with tax collectors and sinners. (2) The blood teaching is wrong. Eating blood pudding is not the same as a blood transfusion. I learned of the case of an 11 year old boy in the United States called Jerod Septer (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHyYQStj_qg) who was killed as a result of his parents refusing permission for a doctor to perform a blood transfusion. I have a son who is now 22 years old (April 2023), so when I learned about this story I was saddened. I prayed and reflected upon the issue and I concluded that honestly, I would not have been able to place "Jehovah first" and taken a decision that would have led to the death of my son Diego. Theology is not worth the life of a child. That was the moment of my moral break with Jehovah Witnesses. (3) eschatological and historiography issues surrounding the alleged 607 BCE date for the fall of Jerusalem to the Babylonians, (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yc3GaW8BvhA) and how Carl Olof Johnsson (a Swedish witness) was cancelled for
proving this doctrine wrong. (4) I made contact with legitimate followers of Charles Taze Russell (Bible Students:
https://www.biblestudents.com/) and attended one of their assemblies on zoom. (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEW1fgelW1w). That pretty much convinced me that Jehovah Witnesses are actually a sectarian split from the movement founded by Pastor Russell.
In October 2021 I made contact with the LDS missionaries again, after 15 years. We met on zoom for about a month and they introduced me to the
Articles of Faith. My original intention was to explore. I had already investigated
The Bible Students, so I decided to investigate the other major Christian Restorationist Movement (The Mormons). In November 2021 I moved to Halmstad (in part to get away from the JW congregation). I had help from the RSFL (
https://www.rfsl.se/en/) in getting away. It was an RFSL crisis support worker who helped me plan and make my escape. I had been in touch with RFSL crisis counselors since November 2020 (one month after I "woke up") and they basically helped me deprogram myself from the cult mentality. They reminded me that I must make my own choices and take responsibility for my own life. It was like Narcotic Anonymous all over again in a way, except that this time instead of an addiction to a substance I was under the influence of a high control religion mindset. It took a year for the RFSL crisis support workers to help me deprogram from the indoctrination.
Anyhow, in Halmstad I made contact with the LDS congregation there. I met the missionary sisters. They introduced me to
The Book of Mormon and to the LDS Restoration booklet (I had been interested in
Restorationist Christianity for many years). I begun to attend meetings at the congregation in Halmstad. After the third Sunday I recieved the sacrament. (Jehovah Witnesses only perform
The Memorial of The Death of Christ Jesus once a year and they are forbidden to take the emblems unless they are one of the 144,000 anointed). In March 2022 I returned to Karlstad. There I resumed contact with the missionaries (young men this time), and I was introduced to the Word of Wisdom and the
Gospel of Jesus Christ booklet. On April 6, 2022 I was baptized. In June I received the Aaronic priesthood and I begun to help with distributing the Sacrament. I started studying the
Bible Principles book on the LDS app with a view to prepare for visiting The Temple. Unfortunately, In August I had to move out of Karlstad at first to Torsby and in September to Uppsala. I met the missionaries by video-chat on FB messenger to continue studying the Bible Principles book. Sadly, in February 2023 I was detained by the Border Police in Malmö as I was preparing to leave Sweden and was interned at the
Åstorp immigration detention. At Åstorp I met a deacon from Svenska Kyrkan who arranged for me to have contact with the LDS congregation in Helsingborg, this deacon also gave ma a facsimile of the
1611 King James Bible to read until I could get LDS scriptures. One of the missionaries whom I met in Karlstad arranged for a Book of Mormon to be mailed to me by post. The LDS Bishop visited twice. From him I also obtained copies of
The Pearl of Great Price,
Doctrine and Covenents and the LDS King James.
In May of 2023 I was made a full member of
Sveriges Kommunistiska Parti. I had to make a choice between the LDS Church and membership in a Communist organization. This because Article of Faith 12 states that:
“We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.” This is in conflict with the aims of Marxist workers led revolution (as defined in the
Communist Manifesto) which calls for the overthrow of the Capitalist State. So I decided to opt for Marxism and move away from the LDS Church. I gravitated instead towards
Community of Christ; a version of Mormonism that prepresents an interpetation of Mormonism congruent with Social Justice. I also begun to follow the work of
Metropolitan Community Church (an LGBTQi+ Christian denomination that believes in radical inclusivity and social justice). Obviously, these organizations express utopian idealism; however they are not political but religious organizations. In those contexts I advocate support for
Fair Trade (non-political utopia) and leave it at that. That is as radical as one can get in a congregational context.
I do not bring politics into the congregation just like I do not bring theology into political work. Since neither Community of Christ nor Metropolitan Community Church exist in Sweden, I attend their services online on Facebook.
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| November 9, 2021 |
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